I recently watched Hulu’s “Looking for Alaska” based on the book by John Green. I’d been holding off because I didn’t have a subscription and buying the episodes seemed pricey for something I was hesitant about in this day and age where everything but the story seems to take precedence. I’d read the book several times already. I’m reading it again now as if for the first time – one of the few advantages of getting old I guess.
The title captivated me for a couple of reasons. I used to live and love Alaska (not a girl but the state), and the idea of a boarding school in Alabama of all places intrigued me. I spent seven years in boarding school, in Ireland, Northern Ireland, and England. Once I left Northern Ireland, my parents let me choose where I wanted to go next. During my time away, all I wanted was to get “home” – Anywhere, USA. But when I chose a school in Anywhere, USA, my Dad said nope, not the States. How ‘bout Canada then? Nope. Okay, fine. Send me to Diego Garcia for all I care then. Dad wagged his finger at me and said if I didn’t take it seriously, he’d send me to Scotland. No thank you. I chose a school in South England, an idyllic location with a pub located literally across the street from the main gate. Despite everything, I did poorly. I think if the school hadn’t been so hard up for money, I’d have been kicked out.
Looking for Alaska asks a central question – how will I ever get out of this labyrinth? This resonated with me because over the years writing my story I’ve dug myself deep in my own labyrinth that began when some asked if I’d ever consider someday sending my kids to boarding school and I didn’t scream, “FUCK NO.” Why? I had to find the answer. Alaska finds her own solution, “Straight and Fast” which is exactly how she exits. But there’s hope.
“He was gone, and I did not have time to tell him what I had just now realized: that I forgave him, and that she forgave us, and that we had to forgive to survive in the labyrinth. There were so many of us who would have to live with things done and things left undone that day. Things that did not go right, things that seemed okay at the time because we could not see the future. If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless.” ~Green, John. Looking for Alaska. Penguin Young Readers Group
I like that a lot. Forgiveness. Of others, of ourselves. So far it hasn’t helped me but I continue trying. Will I ever get out of my labyrinth? God, I hope so.
