{"id":1997,"date":"2023-06-13T08:51:41","date_gmt":"2023-06-13T15:51:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/?p=1997"},"modified":"2023-06-13T08:51:41","modified_gmt":"2023-06-13T15:51:41","slug":"answers-are-hard-to-find-sometimes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/2023\/06\/13\/answers-are-hard-to-find-sometimes\/","title":{"rendered":"Answers Are Hard to Find Sometimes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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It\u2019s been 40 years since I left boarding school, and yet the effects linger. I am unsure of myself, don\u2019t particularly like groups of people, or rules for that matter. I hate that I comply almost always. I\u2019m told to jump and I bitch and moan about it and then do it. I\u2019d like to blame the rigid authority and discipline of boarding school from all those years ago, but I think it\u2019s more because I\u2019m just not good at getting away with things, and that\u2019s probably because I don\u2019t often think well on my feet. I take time with even the simplest things.\u00a0Forty years is a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been in contact with many “old boys” my schools, the goal being to find the answer to why, when asked if I\u2019d ever send my kids to boarding school, I didn\u2019t scream, \u201cFUCK NO!\u201d Almost everyone I knew then came out okay, or so it seems. Some have carried obvious anger with them, and when I hear why, it makes sense. I try to tell them to let it go, but if I took my own advice, I\u2019d have abandoned my memoir and gotten on with writing science fiction. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Experts say the best way to overcome the past is to face it. I remember when my wife insisted on us going to Ireland back in 1992 as part of our honeymoon \u2013 she wanted to meet some of my family \u2013 I was so apprehensive. I thought I\u2019d collapse, trembling with fear. I felt nothing when I got off the plane in Belfast from Manchester. I felt nothing that whole trip but figured it was because it lasted just one day. We were in and out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the same happened years later when I went over to bury my father. This time, I took a day in the car to go to Enniskillen to my old school. Again, I expected to tremble and shake seeing the town, the gates, the school on the hill. Nothing. I\u2019ve since been to the other schools and felt the same nothing as before. No nostalgia, no fear, just a blank. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been in contact with old boys but talking with them is somewhat challenging. Some have done well and don\u2019t dwell on the past, and some don\u2019t mind sharing what they remember. Either way, I always feel guilty about pumping them for information because it\u2019s all one way. If and when I finally publish my memoir, all I can do is say thank you with a free copy and a much-deserved credit on the inside.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am so close. The answer to the question \u2013 would I have considered sending my kids to boarding school \u2013 is yes. Would I have actually pursued that course? Not likely. If our circumstances had been different, I might not have had a choice, but they weren\u2019t, and it\u2019s moot now anyway.\u00a0Now it’s your turn to wonder why I came to that conclusion. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s been 40 years since I left boarding school, and yet the effects linger. I am unsure of myself, don\u2019t particularly like groups of people, or rules for that matter. I hate that I comply almost always. I\u2019m told to … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1997","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-troubles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1997","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1997"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1997\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1999,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1997\/revisions\/1999"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1997"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1997"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1997"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}