{"id":1226,"date":"2011-09-23T10:41:54","date_gmt":"2011-09-23T17:41:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/?p=1226"},"modified":"2012-08-31T13:08:30","modified_gmt":"2012-08-31T20:08:30","slug":"silence-is-not-golden","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/23\/silence-is-not-golden\/","title":{"rendered":"Silence Is NOT Golden"},"content":{"rendered":"
You’ve probably heard the saying, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” I couldn’t disagree more, but that\u2019s probably why I sometimes have a hard time moving forward. I remember many years ago my friend\u2019s wife was leaving him off at school and I looked over and noticed she just didn’t look quite right. I asked if she was alright and she said yes and asked why. \u201cI dunno, you just don\u2019t look good,” I said. “Like you plastered your makeup on or something.\u201d I caught hell from my friend for that, but it was true \u2013 instead of enhancing her natural beauty she\u2019d made herself look like a street tart and I\u2019d hoped she\u2019d wipe off all that crap and start over with a lighter touch.<\/span><\/div>\n

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I’ve always thought it best to be honest with people. I have no patience for the bullshit of dancing around trying to convey an opinion through grunts, groans, and hesitation. If you’ve something to say then say it, right? You can\u2019t argue with the truth. This is how we learn. This is how we grow. It\u2019s an off-shoot of so-called \u201csocial cues\u201d. <\/span><\/div>\n

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When it comes to writing, truth and honesty often butt heads with ego and the excuse of artistic interpretation. What may appear to be absolute crap to one person may be heavenly art to another. And that\u2019s key \u2013 remembering that it\u2019s an opinion through the eye of the beholder.<\/span><\/div>\n

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My goal as a writer is to present<\/em> the best damned material possible, and part of the process involves developing a thick skin, mostly through objectivity \u2013 the ability to analyze opinion without emotion (as opposed to apathy \u2013 the state of simply not giving a damn). It raises you out of the depths of being an amateur, builds confidence and protects against arrogance so you end up more professional than prima donna.<\/span><\/div>\n

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I\u2019m very critical of my own work, but my ability to fix flaws is limited to my ability to see them. I’ve spent the past three years sculpting my memoir, The Troubles, honing it into something I think is really good, but I\u2019m not so arrogant as to think my opinion alone is all that matters. I have final say, of course, but that\u2019s not going to be very helpful if my work appeals to me and no one else. So, along the way, I\u2019ve asked for outside opinion and, for the most part, the feedback has been interesting, with some folks thankfully catching some real whoppers for me to fix. <\/span><\/div>\n

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But for some reason, there are others who were very enthusiastic about being a reader and then just said nothing further. I see them post on Facebook, etc. and I send them messages to find out what\u2019s going on. Nothing. I just don\u2019t understand where that comes from. Worse, yet, is when someone asks me specifically to be a reader and then do this. Beyond bizarre.<\/span><\/div>\n

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They say, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all,\u201d is supposed to spare hurt feelings. Truth is, saying nothing might do far more harm than good. So if someone asks you to say something, don\u2019t think you\u2019re doing any favors by remaining silent. You wouldn\u2019t have been asked if your opinion didn\u2019t mean something, and who knows, you may find one of those real whoppers that stands between being laughed at and true greatness. So say something, even \u201ceff you, leave me alone!\u201d That\u2019s a hell of a lot better than the alternative \u2013 for everyone concerned. \ud83d\ude09<\/span><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You’ve probably heard the saying, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” I couldn’t disagree more, but that\u2019s probably why I sometimes have a hard time moving forward. I remember many years ago my friend\u2019s wife … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writinghelp"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1226"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1226\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1237,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1226\/revisions\/1237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/richardpnixon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}